Whose Responsibility now?

Hey lovelies, I know you missed me. I also missed you….. I’ve been sick! And thank God I’m getting better now.

So, I’m just going to throw a question at y’all after telling you what I think about an opinion.

Last Friday, my friends and I were having an argument about marriage! Family! Whose responsibility?

My friends think the responsibility to cook and attend to other house chores falls on the wife because the man is the head of the house, he married her, brought her to his house, and she bears his name, and its the  norm……..so many pointless reasons (well, I think these points aren’t reasonable). I cannot blame them much; that’s what they’ve been brought up to believe, right?

In my opinion, no one has the responsibility to cook and attend to other chores…not the wife, not the man. Yes! you saw that! I mean, what constitution or law says the wife has to do it all…….this is where abuse starts, really.

Chores are responsibilities and anyone can take them up, not imposed on anyone. You see your wife cooking, sweeping, fetching water and doing other things at the same time and you sit there, claiming to be the man, watching the TV or doing whatever it is you’re engrossed with….isn’t that unfair?

Let’s bring the Bible into this. God commanded respect for the man, right? But don’t you forget the Bible called the wife helpmate. The Bible said love your wife, God also commanded man as the head of his wife, his family (some men even quote the part of the Bible that says women are weaker vessels. You claim she’s a weaker vessel yet that weaker vessel does all the chores…huh?)No one is disputing the fact that you’re the head but being head doesn’t mean you turn your wife into a slave.

She leaves for work in the morning and comes back so tired, yet she comes in to resume another shift, without complaining……we’re human, please…how do you expect a woman to keep doing all these and not get exhausted some day….and not fade in appearance? And she still feeds her family from her earnings as majority of women are breadwinners. Ha!

A girl has to learn how to cook. If she cannot cook, why can’t she dream of marrying a man who does the cooking?

For the single ladies out there, please make sure you and your fiance understand and settle this before moving into that institution called marriage.

Note: I’m not complaining about women doing all the chores, I mean we love it! But helping out isn’t bad and stop making it a duty for us. Men, go into the kitchen and prepare a lovely meal for us…..that’s romantic, we love it, we think it’s special and we love you more when you help us with chores, without being asked.

If we need positive changes in our society, it starts with you, let’s educate our children, especially the male child, they do not have to grow with the mindset that all house chores belong to the woman.

So, here’s the question, whose responsibility is it to cook for the family, and see to the chores?

Is it the husband? the wife? Or no one has the responsibility to cook

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Do not get me wrong, this is not a feminist idea as some will think but just so we all can understand and learn from other people’s perspective…..Don’t forget….one of the aims of this blog is to learn. I’m learning also.

 

My ladies and gentlemen, talk to me, I need to know I’m not getting it all wrong, and if you think I need to understand one or few points, please make me.

Xoxo,

Victoria Lola ❤

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52 thoughts on “Whose Responsibility now?

  1. I’m a single mom of two . One of my relationships had this problem. He thought what he wouldn’t do i would pick it up. Sadly a lot of guys see it this way. A marriage to me is not women obeying men and everything they say. Is God gave us two man as help in his work that tells me that we both share responsibility. It is supposed to be equal and a lot of people get this wrong by separating responsibilities on each other. Men think that they are supposed to go to work come home to a cooked meal, and that the women are supposed to raise the kids, cook, clean comma and go to work. Where is the equality in that?

  2. Great topic, and in my house hold everything is 50/50 I do most of the cleaning and cooking, because I love doing it and I like things a certain way. My husband calls me OCD, I call it habit. Great post and I believe that you as a couple make the rules of what works for you in your home.

    • That’s the way it’s meant to be, crayg, really. We do it because we love to; not to be imposed on us. And that’s why I’ve said everything should better be settled during courtship so it doesn’t become a problem when the home begins.
      Thank you, beautiful. I needed to know I wasn’t alone :*

  3. Love it! I think that it all depends on the couple and what they agree to. I think that you definitely have to discuss that before marriage or before moving in.

    For my husband and I, no one has the responsibility of cooking or cleaning or anything. For us, if you see that something needs to be cleaned, you clean it. If I don’t feel like cooking, he picks up the slack! But I don’t think that the responsibility should rest on a specific person.

    • True, Chasity. Depends on what they agree on…that’s why I said this has to be settled during courtship so it doesn’t become a problem.
      I love that; anyone can pick up the chores and see to it, that’s brilliant
      Thanks, beautiful xx

    • It’s really sad, Veera, and that mindset has to be erased completely. It’s fine…the change begins with us….Let your kids know this before they get married
      Thanks for stopping by, Veera xx

  4. Excellent topic! In my house we both do whatever is necessary. We both cook, shop for groceries or clean as needed. We both work and earn money, isn’t it also fair that we, as parents set the right example to our kids – a girl and a boy – that there is no gender based tasks in the house. They have to learn to be independent to do everything by themselves. For their own happiness later on.

  5. Absolutely. Responsibilities must be divided among all the family members including children. So, that kids also knew how things work and how important it is to be responsible and caring.

  6. In every countries marriage is different, some women home wife’s. But in some countries men and women take turns to do things, or together.

  7. Well be it marriage, or staying with your parents or in a live-in work should always be divided and responsibilities shared. This way you learn a lot and are prepared for any situation life may throw at you

  8. My hubby and I are celebrating our 50th anniversary this July and we have always shared everything 50/50. There is nothing considered “woman’s work” or “man’s work”. Great post.

    • Awwwwww…..that’s worth thankful for, and celebrating..Golden Jubilee 😮 What day is it in July?

      Definitely, some people need to understand this. Thanks for your contribution ❤

  9. Thats true. I also helps my wife in cooking and also do so many other work at home. It gives me very much happier experience. I am not doing it because of my responsibility , I do it because of love and affection towards my wife. Thanks for sharing this topic to us.

  10. Studies have found that couples that share household duties tend to be happier. Marriage is a partnership and maintaining a home should be one as well!

  11. Great post! It’s the first time I read on the net about this problem and I’m glad you raised, especially because you treated the subject from the perspective of the Bible. Women have been abused in most Christian families long time (I’m talking about my country) on the base of that verse that says that man is the head. We are supposed to do all the house chores, taking care of the children, educating them, taking care of the husband, make him happy, going to work, and taking care of the parents when they need. All in the name of God! Like we’re some kind of extraterrestrial creatures with magical powers and because of that we can never be tired.
    But did really God want that for us? I don’t think so. I think he wanted for us to be cherished and loved, not exploited by those that were supposed to show us love. I’m thinking sometimes that the heaven must be full of women, I just don’t believe that Jesus would want there oppressive men. To expect from the wife to take full responsibility of all these means to be an exploiter, in my opinion.

    • I agree with you, Perla….it’s so tiring, esp when that verse is quoted. I hope our men can realize that’s bad and change for the best soon. Also, the change starts with us; teaching our kids the right things; esp the male child. Thanks for stopping by, your opinion is adored :*

  12. I totally agree. The responsibility is nobody’s or everybody’s. In my house, we prefer to solve problems as they appear. So the jobs are being done by the person who is able to do them at that specific moment. All responsibilities are sharable; there is no man or woman job. To be honest, I think it is a little absurd to even talk about these things today. I mean, shouldn’t they be common sense already?

    • I agree with you. Really! It shouldn’t be discussed at all but common sense these days are now uncommon. We need to start educating our sons; we should help bring up the future generation in the right manner. Thanks Corina xx

  13. Back when the Bible was written, women did not work. They stayed home, they cared for the children, cooked, cleaned, etc. That was thousands of years ago. Like you said, now women are becoming primary breadwinners. They are working full time jobs and I think it is unreasonable that after both of us work a full day, that a man would expect me to come home and continue to do more work while he’s got his feet kicked up enjoying a drink. Nah son! If the woman stays home, then yes I would expect a majority of these things to be done, and vice versa.

    • I mean….thousand years ago…things have changed; women are working two-three-four jobs now, to cater for her home and then she comes home to resume the fifth shift? Naw 😦
      Oh yes, I’d also agree if she stays at home; not working, but even at that, men should help out. Thank you so much, Genelle, xoxo

  14. My husband and I do equal amounts around the house. We both manage our own company and I work full time from home and I’m a blogger. If he’s tired, I do more. If I’m tired, he steps up. We move and flow together. I feel pity for marriages where obligations and expectations are ‘assumed’ based on gender. Oh and the 4 kids I birthed do a ton of housework too!

    • Exactly! That’s the way its meant to be. Such a pity for men who quote some verses to back their laziness up. Some people need to be reoriented.
      And yes, that’s what good mothers do; they gotta work….the changes start with us. Thanks, Kanani xx

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